The Top 30 Christmas Jokes

Here is a collection of the Top 30 Christmas Jokes – all of them are short and appropriate for audiences of any age.
Some will make you laugh, some might make you laugh, and some are… well let’s just say… interesting.

1. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho.

2. Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey – he is always stuffed.

3. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

4. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

5. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle!

6. Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

7. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.

8. What do you call someone who does not believe in Father Christmas? A rebel without a Claus.

9. What kind of cereal does Santa eat? Snowflakes!

10. How was the snow globe feeling? A little shaken!

11. What do angry mice give each other for Christmas? Cross Mouse Cards

12. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claus!

13. What do you get if you ‘deep fry’ Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.

14. What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve? Okay everyone, sack time!

15. How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack? Only one, after that it is not empty anymore!

16. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.

17. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrot?

18. What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail? Go to a re-tail-shop.

19. What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!

20. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Chill out.

21. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!

22. What did Santa say when his wife asked about the weather? It looks like rain-dear.

23. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!

24. Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas time? He was stuffed.

25. What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just cannot beat it!

26. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

27. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it ‘soots’ him!

28. What did the reindeer say before beginning his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.

29. What did the police say when Frosty the Snowman was caught stealing? Hey you… freeze!

30. What kind of ball does not bounce?  A snowball.